A pile o’ stuff . . .
I wrote late into the night on a blog that methodically showed how ludicrous editor Silas Lyons’ quotes were in the Thursday story after more than 100 people picketed the paper to protest my firing and the paper’s decline of talent and content.
I ridiculed the transparency and complete b.s. of Lyons’ words. It was quite clever, if I do say so myself.
I felt pretty vindicated.
Then came some lies and weirdness from left field from a pair of colleagues in a blog. Wow. I didn’t see that coming. It really stung.
So I rolled up my sleeves and set out to fix their clocks, too.
I got tired and saved my entry to finish in the morning.
And here’s why it’s good to sleep on something before you mail it (or, in the case of blogs, post it).
By morning, I saw things differently. I felt different, too.
I saw those lies, partial truths and betrayals as a turd tower deposited by these people on the sidewalk of my life, put there for reasons I still do not know.
I looked at that pile and thought about it for a long time. I asked myself if I could ever imagine diving headfirst into something that awful – not just diving in, but rolling around in it.
No, of course not.
Besides, where would it get me?
Smelling and looking like crap. (Pardon my French.)
So I’m not posting that blog. I never will.
I will treat that horrible pile exactly as I would if I encountered it on the river trial.
I’ll walk around it.
And move on.
Darcie replied:
Good for you Doni, the higher trail is more beautiful too!
November 12, 2007 at 4:40 am. Permalink.
Mike Littau replied:
It will be tough to move on but you’ll find that it is the only choice to be healthy. When I lost my job about 4 years ago, I found myself living in a tremendous amount of anger. I later learned with some research that losing a job is about the 3rd most tramadic thing that can happen to someone. The two choices in life are to be bitter for life (which will destroy you) or to try and start the healing process. I’ll admit, even making the choice to “move on” is something I’m still struggling with today as it is a very long process. I can’t imagine what my state of mind would be if I followed the other path of being bitter in life. I really feel for you right now as I’m a person that got fired as well, for terrible reasons. Try and stay as positive as possible as it will make people want to be closer to you.
November 12, 2007 at 7:15 am. Permalink.
NoPinkPhat replied:
Hi Doni,
As someone who has also experienced a similar Pink & Phat turd pile lying on the sidewalk of my life, I thought I would share a quote from the lawyer I talked to about it: “If you wrestle with the pigs, you’ll both end up getting dirty and covered in mud.” So, let’s here it for mud wrestling with the pigs, or choosing not to, or both!!
November 12, 2007 at 8:11 am. Permalink.
Judy Darting replied:
Doni, I can almost feel the intensity of that blog and then the lightness of letting it go. A learned and wise person once told me, “What you feel, is what you feel.” I used to believe I didn’t have the right to have certain feelings about ’stuff’ and I ’stuffed’ them. DOESN’T WORK. They swell, until you are stuffed and there is no more room for you……….There are lots of ways to express your feelings, work through and make them at least lighter. The healthier ways don’t involve dynamite, large savage dogs or flaming meteors from space, (or all three at once!), but a little fantasy revenge can be satisfying. All this is assuming the fantasizer knows the difference, so anyone reading this, I don’t mean act on your fantasy. Enjoy for a couple of minutes and let it go. The whole thing gets less intense every time you feel what you feel and pretty soon you don’t feel as intense. There is room for you again.
November 12, 2007 at 9:40 am. Permalink.
gamerjohn replied:
Feel sorry for the ones still stuck at the newspaper. It is a sinking ship under the current conditions. The few good writers that remain must be scared for their jobs, flooded with work to pick up the slack and yet frustrated because of the lack of direction from the editors.
This has already happened to bigger papers in bigger towns. The San Jose Mercury News is a shell of its former self. Award winning writers gone. Newbie rookies showing their ignorance and lack of history on the topics they write.
November 12, 2007 at 9:49 am. Permalink.
Pat Pratt replied:
Hi Doni, Yeah! Let’s get on with the recipes. I’m sure your Saturday Quiche was great, BUT, I think these are easier: Impossible Ratatouille Pie: Preheat oven to 400. In greased ten inch pie plate slice 3 1/2 cups veggies. (Last one I used zuchini, onion, mushrooms, and tomato), but use your favorites or what you have on hand. Add some cooked chicken breast or any other left over meat. Sprinkle with 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning, lightly salt and pepper, and 1 cup cheese shredded. In blender 3/4 Cup Bisquick baking mix, 3 eggs, 1 1/4 milk, 1/4 Cup sour cream. Blend 20 seconds and pour into pie plate. Bake 35 minutes…let stand 5 minutes. (Note: Bisquick box says to saute veggies…I don’t) ENJOY! pjp
November 12, 2007 at 9:58 am. Permalink.
Michelle replied:
Doni, I know what you mean! I need to take a page from your book and try to let go what happened to me when I worked for the R-S. It has been more than three years since I left, and I still harbor feelings of ill will toward some of the people there who made my life so difficult.
Maybe you and I can get past things together!
November 12, 2007 at 10:03 am. Permalink.
Deb Duryee replied:
Great quote I read over the weekend. I don’t know who said it, but it is so true.
“Never be afraid of your enemy, they can only take your life. Instead, fear the media, for they can take your honor.”
I also use the “fast and furious” writing trick. If it’s good enough to be said, it will still make sense in a week or two. Often I find that there was a real kernel of something important in my initial rants, but it needed to take another direction to be taken seriously. Keep writing,and you’ll work through all this. Betrayal is a hard thing to live through but eventually you’ll come to the realization that those who betrayed you were never your true friends. Your true friends are those still standing by you.
November 12, 2007 at 10:12 am. Permalink.
Bob Thompson replied:
The decline at the RS is just a symptom of the newspaper business in general. The NY Times, LA Times, SF Chron and many others have all let good people go. It’s part of the movement away from newsprint and towards the electronic media. Your blog fits that scenario perfectly. I really hate to see it, but there will be far fewer newspapers in the future. The younger generations just don’t read to the extent of their elders. It’s a sign of the times and the world is a changin. It’s all driven by technology for good or otherwise.
Doni, glad you decided to stay on the high road, let the others roll in the muck.
November 12, 2007 at 12:13 pm. Permalink.
Lee replied:
**Off Topic**
Was the little boy holding the papers after the attack on Pearl Harbor ever identified? I am referring to one of Doni’s last columns.
November 12, 2007 at 12:36 pm. Permalink.
Maureen B.S. replied:
I’ve never been so relieved to NOT get a job as I am now. It was many years ago, but I felt the disappointment of not even get an interview for a long time. My resume was perfect for the graphics job advertised by the RS. I’ve felt slightly miffed for too long, and can surely let it go now!
I am now a real estate broker and feel so sorry for the hard sell that the ad reps must try to make to us:
“Here! Spend your precious marketing dollars in this newspaper that proclaims repeatedly on the front page that the real estate market is in the dumps and the last thing you should be doing is buying real estate!” Now THAT’S got to be a tough job.
November 12, 2007 at 2:18 pm. Permalink.
Pat replied:
I recently read, “A minute of Anger is a minute of Joy lost.” Let’s take the Joy route. pjp
November 12, 2007 at 3:43 pm. Permalink.
Grammalyn replied:
Hi Doni, As usual you have taken the high road and are the gracious lady. Don’t let the others get you down. When I get super-angry I write a letter to the person and then stuff it away somewhere. A week later I’m usually glad I didn’t send it. That doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to feel betrayed, but I hope you will put that pretty smile on and step over all those turds!
November 12, 2007 at 3:52 pm. Permalink.
Andrea Charroin replied:
There are moments in our lives when the poop really does stink. But during those times, if we are lucky, we will take a moment and look around to see we are surrounded by the love and strength of true frendship. You my dear are indeed lucky. You have a beautiful family, delightful friends, and a community that adores you. YOU!
SO there are a few sour and crabby coworkers that spew hatred. But, they will always be sour and crabby, and I suspect they do not have many true friends standing in support of them right now.
Take a long streach over the pile and walk with pride and grace…as you always do.
November 12, 2007 at 6:04 pm. Permalink.
Valerie Ing-Miller replied:
I wonder how many Redding citizens didn’t see that pile of poo and stepped right in it.
I know I did, and I got some on my shoes.
Well, it’ll wash off.
In the meantime, friends, I’ve got two things I’d like to share with you:
I feel a duty to inform you that nothing posted on the RS website is truly ‘anonymous.’ Despite what the editor said in his column a few weeks back defending the peoples right to comment on redding.com anonymously, claiming the paper had no real way to determine someone’s identity anyhow, that’s simply NOT TRUE. Some RS staffers will do everything within their power to sleuthily try to ‘out’ people who disagree with their opinion – and it doesn’t stop there. You WILL be punished if they think there’s a way to try to stop you.
For instance, if you have a job and answer to a higher power, they may try to go to that higher power to try to intimidate you. You’ve probably already read about how the RS did this to another lifetime Redding resident. She’s not alone.
It also happened to me.
While I considered just washing the poo off my shoe and letting the smell fade away, I didn’t think it was fair to not warn others that there are some at the RS who will apparently stop at nothing to protect their right to free speech, but stomp on everyone else’s.
So here’s what I experienced after commenting on a redding.com blog last week:
The blogger, a RS staffer, sent an email to the CEO of the media organization I work for demanding an apology from me for comments posted (and not posted) on her blog. She claimed I was engaged in harassment and defamation. To me those comments looked like they disagreed with her blog, and expressed frustrations that she was removing multiple comments from multiple citizens who also disagreed. I was ordered to cease and desist & quit personally attacking this hapless reporter. She sent the CEO the texts of all these comments, some which I signed using my name, and some which she deduced were my comments by cross referencing IP addresses but did not have my name on them.
This was a pretty bold attempt to intimidate me into giving up my right to free speech by an employee of an organization that should be doing everything it can to uphold that right.
Additionally, my CEO was told that because I’m a member of the media, that I am to be held to a different set of standards than the rest of the population…that I, unlike any of you, need to disclose my full name and title when making comments on the RS website.
This is so troubling to me, on so many levels.
I’m curious if the RS staffer did this with the blessing of her bosses. The email was cc’d to them as well, haven’t heard from any of them.
So is this what’s it’s coming to? That a media organization will do its darnedest to intimidate the public and stifle free speech in order to skate around the big issue…which is, I believe, this – my 2nd item on tonight’s agenda:
The way we get our news is changing. The internet has had a tremendous effect on that, and newspapers across the country are in trouble. They’re trying to find ways to do things differently, to keep making money. To keep subscribers and to keep advertisers.
In our fair city, the changes and proposed changes that have occured as a result are having a tremendously negative impact on how the citizens of this city feel about their hometown newspaper, how its own employees feel about their newspaper, and it’s caused many of the truly dedicated, talented journalists, editors and other longtime employees to jump ship. Or be thrown overboard.
I could be wrong, this is just my opinion, but it seems that the new editor and publisher are in over their heads and haven’t been taught to swim yet. I’m not directly criticizing them, but rather commenting that a rather unfortunate situation was created during the exodus of all of the talented sailors who knew how to expertly keep this ship afloat.
November 12, 2007 at 11:41 pm. Permalink.
Ed Heffelfinger replied:
Just when I thought this wicked tale couldn’t get any weirder, we now learn folks at the RS are contacting the employers of some who post at Redding dot com. This whole thing is getting more and more obscene everyday.
While I absolutely detest the flame wars, the hate and poison spread every day by these anonymous posts at Redding dot com, I’m beginning to understand why someone might not want their name posted. I wrote two letters to the editor about this not long after they started posting these comments. I honestly feel if the RS has to have all our personal information before posting a letter to the editor, why shouldn’t it be the same when someone posts an online comment.
I teach American Culture at a university here in China.
My students and I discuss the anger and hate that have become a giant part of our culture and I use the comments at Redding dot com in class as a shining example…exhibit A. By the way, that’s a major reason my son and I have stayed here for four years…hate, rage, and anger is not part of Chinese Culture. Neither are drugs, gangs and crime…but I digress.
When I was back in Redding this last Summer for a visit, I was at a party with some other media folks and we were discussing this very subject. A friend of mine who would know told me the Searchlight actually volunteered the personal info one has to use to register at Redding dot com to post…to an attorney in regards to a few articles earlier this year. Someone referred to in the articles was thinking about suing about some of the comments. No court order…just a phone call…”sure, my friend, we can give that info to you.” That’s scary!
Redding dot com providing a platform for spewing hate is the scariest thing. I really don’t know what the answer is. I read several American newspapers online. A few of them have comment sections but they have never even come close to the vile that’s on Redding dot com. Yahoo News had to stop the comments section because things really got out of hand. But this thing about RS giving out personal info and even calling employers about the postings…man oh man, I just don’t know anymore. Just when I think I’ve heard it all…
November 13, 2007 at 3:44 am. Permalink.
donigreenberg replied:
Ed, I share your feelings about some of the vile and uncivilized comments on Redding.com, and other sites.
I quit reading them, but later waded back in so I could communicate with readers after I’d been fired from the RS.
But now I’m back to not reading Redding.com comments again. I just get upset and I end up feeling slimed.
Thanks for reading this blog, and we welcome you from China. Take care.
November 13, 2007 at 3:57 am. Permalink.
Celeste White replied:
Yikes, Valerie, your experience is horrifying and outrageous! I really hope that your bosses stood up for you. It is incredibly bizarre, as you say, that an organization that should be fighting to protect our right to free speech is instead using strong-arm tactics to suppress it. Thank you for posting your warning. People should absolutely be aware of this.
I myself am not visiting Redding.com these days, for many reasons, one of them being the rage that permeates the “Comments” sections (and Ed, you’re right–you really have to wonder why so many people in this country are so angry, when we’re so privileged). I am very thankful that those who post on this blog are so civil, even when they’re upset, and this is one big reason why I come here.
But Valerie . . . wow. I’m speechless about your situation. Truly. Clearly these are times when we have to be extra vigilant about protecting our civil rights. Thank you for having the courage to stand up for yourself (and us, by extension).
November 13, 2007 at 7:00 am. Permalink.
Adam Andrews replied:
Dear Doni readers,
With this message, I want to leave a ringing endorsement of Doni Greenberg.
I worked with Doni for a number of years at the R-S and found her to be a genuinely decent human being at all times – period. She was just very simply put: nice. I know, I know, what a dull uninspiring description. What does nice mean?
It actually means a lot if you understand the context.
It’s hard to explain (without a great amount of detail) some of the personalities that one encounters inside a place like the R-S. I was there for nearly 10 years (in total) and needless to say there was many a different category of not nice, here are three easy ones:
1) Kinda not nice. Reponse: Everyday occurence, deal with it.
2) Not nice most of the time. Response: Suffer in silence but duck away if possible.
3) Seriously not nice whatsoever. Response: Do avoid at all costs, turn and run to the nearest exit.
There were some grey areas in between, but you get the idea. This could be applied to quite a few folks in the building – not all, of course, and not Doni. Doni, with a handful of others, was a ray of sunshine on a grey day. Cliché you scream! I know… But true! Seriously! If Doni’s become anything other than the person I knew six years ago, then I blame the newspaper itself.
It’s a difficult thing to describe the inner workings of a place like the Record Searchlight to folks who’ve never experienced the stress of trying to be 100% under real deadlines – sometimes double and triple deadlines, or the effect of insecure, ineffective or abusive managers. To add more fuel to the fire: there are frequently times when some irate loser wanders in to the front of the building with a myriad of complaints, spewing filth at the top of his lungs or some jerk phones in to chew you out over some issue or another. Maybe it’s not resolved to his satisfaction so the next time he calls in… it’s with a bomb threat. These are trying work conditions – did I mention the chicken feed pay? These things make normal dismal office politics (at any other job) akin to a leisurely badminton match with friends on a summer’s afternoon. This is no ordinary place to work.
Morale at newspapers is a tough one. Not so long ago newspapers were union operations (in many departments) and to counter this “threat,” management suits (including those at the R-S) hired department directors that were mandated to make lives miserable and break the unions – their actual stated goals, I didn’t make this stuff up. Eventually it worked (and probably for the best – typography and journalist unions were overrated and underpowered anyway). But, the unintended consequence of decades of abusive management has left a permanent stain, there’s a heritage of abuse that carries down to each new employee, instilling instant distrust and fear. They hear from their peers the horror stories – it’s an endless corrosive cycle. It’s probably worse for journalists – take the small step from professional skeptic to hardened cynic in one easy lesson. I’ve never seen anything like it before or since working in it. Include a culture of corporate and local arrogance, personal agendas with competing and counterproductive goals and you have a recipe for disaster. How’s that for the food page, eh?
Losing a gifted writer like Doni – whether you agreed with her positions and opinions or not – is something that the newspaper really could ill afford. Losing someone inside that building that actually cared enough to bring a smile and cheery disposition to work everyday is something even worse; it’s a further insult to the employees. Lose by example.
Because these things don’t really make a difference to the people that run this particular newspaper (and they never really have in my experience), it will most likely continue down its arrogantly blind path, like it’s always done, until the competition that geographically surrounds it finally gobbles it up. It’s a shame, the R-S has always had potential but it just can’t seem to escape its own rotten culture.
I heard about Doni’s dismissal a day or two back and it brought up a whole host of memories and issues I had back on dismissal day right after September 11, 2001. I signed a document however that swore me to silence when I was booted out, so I can’t talk about my situation – and after all this time I don’t care anymore anyway, I’ve dealt with my bitterness (more or less). But I do know what Doni is going through right now, I think. There’s a time of anger and shock, feelings of betrayal and being used. In retrospect you examine every move you ever made, all the friends and colleagues you had – were they really your friends after all? All sorts of things go through your head, paranoid and otherwise.
It will get better for her though. There is life after the old place, better opportunities, better pay, and better people. It’s hard to believe when you’re in the middle of it, but it’s out there. Doni will bounce back and be just fine; there are better days ahead of her.
This blog was a great idea on her part, you loyal readers have a way to keep in touch and she has a way to continue doing what she’s always done best. Maybe she should sell some advertising on this thing and give the R-S some much-needed competition along the way! That’s what I would do!
I join all of you readers and wish Doni all the success she deserves!
Sincerely, her old workmate and pal,
Adam Andrews
The original Redding.com dude and all-around swell guy (most of the time)
November 13, 2007 at 12:01 pm. Permalink.
NoPinkPhat replied:
Hi Valerie – Thank you for letting us know, and for speaking out about an injustice that was committed by a Record Searchlight “Currents” reporter with (apparently) way too much time on their hands. Luckily, I’ve already told my employer about this ongoing situation, and forewarned them they may be contacted by someone trying to stop me from exercising my right to free speech during my free time. Alas, it’s on my dime and my time, so my employer remains completely out of my personal doings on whatever personal(undisclosed) computer IP address(es) I chose to do them from. Three cheers for FREEDOM OF SPEECH in CYBERWORLD!! Sad, indeed, that it has come to this.
November 13, 2007 at 12:59 pm. Permalink.